As the buzzer was going off the noise coming from everywhere in the
gymnasium could be heard over it. The crowd cheering and yelling, the
female's step team coming onto the floor after the basketball players
cleared it, and even the gossip coming out of Tiana's mouth. I bet she's
still talking about me. She's had the biggest crush on me since this
past year and since I won't give her any play, she runs her mouth. 'Derek
is sleeping with Mrs. Ambers to get a good grade', she'd say. 'Derek has a
baby mama in the next town, that's why he doesn't date any of the girls
here.' She'll go on and I always have to shut her down. I glanced down
the bleachers to my right. She's there and staring at me. I roll my
eyes in my mind and just look away slowly. My boy plays for our high
school basketball team. Our uniforms are red. I catch sight of Shan in
the number 3. Three was his favorite number just because. It's a
coincidence that we first met at the age of 3. He is older than me by
two months. His mother had moved next door to us after his parents got a
divorce. Our moms kicked it off and both had a son who were
the same age. They always kept us together, so we grew up together. Shan
caught my eye. He nodded up at me and winked with a smile. I nodded
back.
The sky was dark and fall was ready to come. I waited for Shan in the school parking lot after they had won the game. Shan always played basketball, since middle school. I wasn't into sports too tough, but I always came to his games to watch. As I was waiting all the students were steady coming out of the school. By accident I spotted Tiana and she was still staring at me.
"Your boy did good tonight, Derek." She always said my name. She had two little minions. Some ugly, light skinned chick named Carmen and some other girl named Desma. I'll admit that Desma wasn't half bad, it's just too bad that she follows Tiana around. I just nodded at Tiana. "You too good to speak to me, Derek?" I exhaled and checked out my finger nails. "Whatever to you too." I smoothed my hair down, though I have a faded so there isn't much there. "I'll see you tomorrow in first bell, Derek," she said over her shoulder as she walked away. Yeah, ok, whatever. The girl is weird. Shan came out five minutes later.
"Damn, my nigga, you were in there for about 82 years," was the first thing I say to him. He cracked up laughing and put his arm around my shoulders.
"It be like that sometimes." He started guiding us deeper into the parking lot.
"What the fuck that mean?" He turned to face me. Shan had height on me. I'm like 5' 10", Shan is like 6'.
"What you think? I'm not just going to rush on out when there is dick all around me." He always did this shit. It made me smile and chuckle but sometimes it made me jealous. I pushed and brushed him away. He laughed. He knew what he was doing. "I'm sorry, stop," he laughed and tried to grab me.
"Nah, you done fucked up." I pulled away some more, but he eventually got a hold of me and wrapped his arms around me.
"For real Derek, you know I'm just kidding." I looked up into his eyes then back at the school. Most of the parking lot was cleared. I looked back at him and he was watching me back. He slowly leaned down onto my lips and we kissed. Did I mention that we were together?
I have lived in Section One of Shoreview since I was 2. I was originally born in California. I don't remember any of that because I grew up here. I have known since I was 12 that I liked other boys. I kept thinking that I was into girls, but once I saw my first penis it was a done deal. And it was Shan's penis. He was just spending the night one night at my house and we got to talking about sex. We were twelve and boys were doing it with girls in our town. But Shan just outright said how he didn't want to have sex with girls. He was so sure of himself. He said, at the time, that he thought he didn't like anyone. Asexual. We had learned the term in science class. He told me how his dick didn't get hard at all around girls. That night he just pulled down his pjs and showed me it. The following year he realized that he did like something. Boys. So we both just happened to be gay. We didn't tell anyone else. To this day our parents don't even know. Shan and I didn't get together right away. We didn't even consider it at first. It wasn't until we were sophomores in high school, two years ago, that we started developing an attraction to one another. As Shan got older I became more attracted to him. He told me that he's had a crush on me since freshman year but didn't think too much of it. Now we're seniors and in love with each other.
It just so happens that Shan and I are some of the best looking guys in our class. The females and niggas always asking us where our girls at. We're both like borderline light skinned dudes. We're not pale light skinned but we aren't carmel complexioned. We're in the middle. We both have fades and black hair. My features are actually pretty feminine. I'm that "pretty boy". My sisters used to tell people I was their third sister and the whole 9. My eyes are of the slanted shape and I have a beauty mark above my upper lip on the left side. Shan's features are more stronger. He sometimes looks like he could be a rapper, if that makes any sense. He has a sort of swagger about him. A laid back and fashionable kind of guy. I like it. We are each others first. I never been with another guy and the same goes for him.
Shan was yawning on the drive back home. We still lived next door to each other.
"I'm exhausted," he said. I was laid back in the passenger's seat.
"You played a good game."
"The season just started."
"And it's going to be a good one."
"Going for a record," he says as he switches off the radio. The ride back home isn't a long one but at some point I must have dozed off. Shan was carrying me out of the car when I woke up.
"What happened?" I was a little disoriented.
"You fell asleep, babe." He carried me to the porch then stood me up.
"For real? It don't feel like it."
"It was only for like a minute." He pulled out his keys and opened the door. This has been going on for years. My parents are used to it. If I'm never home at night then I'm next door, nowhere else. I'm surprised that my parents or his mom or dad haven't thought about how close our relationship is. They just think that we're like brothers. We head straight up to his bedroom. His moms goes to sleep early so it's dark in the whole house every night. We both fall onto his bed. I intertwine myself with him. I remember to take off my jacket and sneakers so I get up to do that and get back into bed. Shan leaves it and goes out into the hall to the bathroom. I'm about to drift back to sleep when I feel him get back into bed. His room is so dark. The only light coming in is from outside through the blinds. Shan is kissing my neck.
"I'm so tired," he mumbles into my neck. I chuckle.
"Then go to sleep already."
"But I'm horny as fuck!" He groans. I laugh.
"That is a problem." In our relationship Shan has played the "top" part and me the "bottom". We never switch it up. I recall the first time we had sex. We really rushed into it. We figured that we've known each other for so long and were still virgins, why not? We were fifteen. Actually, Shan had just turned sixteen three weeks prior. We came to his place after school because his mom was at work and just did it. I saw Shan differently after that, I mean he's always been my friend and now he was physically inside of me, having sex with me. It changed me. I cared for him more. He looked at me now. I kissed him tenderly.
"I don't have the energy, babe." He smiled. He had dimples too!
"I do," I said and I got on top of him. The shit ended up being wild, as it usually is and he put a lot more energy into it as we builded up.
I've never cheated on Shan. Didn't have to, didn't need to, didn't want to. The sex between us wasn't getting old at all either. I never changed and he hasn't changed since we've been together. But ever since basketball season has started early this year in our district areas I have become more jealous, which is new to me. Shan's really close with his teammates and I'm sure they're all friends, but when I see him standing too close to a teammate I automatically start assuming shit. My other friend besides Shan is Ethan. He's this white boy who I've known for a year. He doesn't know that I'm gay. I'm passed being over the realization that I'm gay that I forget that I haven't told anyone. And I haven't slipped and told anyone either. But Ethan is mad cool, and we have, like, almost every class together. Our school is mostly black and Latino so I just took him under my wings when he became new here. He's taller than me, 5' 11". He has brown hair that he keeps in a fade as well. When I first met him I thought he was mixed with something else because his features didn't look all white. He told me that his dad is white and his mom is Italian. That explained it. My guilty mind also finds Ethan attractive, but I see that he goes for the girls even though he's only had one girlfriend and he broke up with her. He doesn't talk about girls a lot. I even wondered if he was gay but probably not. Ethan also dressed in his own way, some would think more on the "black" side, since he's always wearing Timberlands, a fresh pair of sneakers or his fitted cap. He's my friend and he doesn't try to act or talk black though. Ethan is just Ethan.
I ate with him at lunch. Shan is in my lunch mod but for some reason we don't eat together. He eats with his teammates.
"Tiana was asking about you again," Ethan said. I rolled my eyes.
"Fuck! Can't she just leave me alone?"
"Nah. But she was just asking me if you was feeling her now because she said at the game last night you kept staring at her." I outright laugh.
"That's the dumbest shit ever. I was catching her looking at me, not the other way around. She's twisted in the head."
"Who you telling. She steady having mad niggas fucking her."
"Nasty." I was okay with Ethan saying 'nigga'. I just didn't see a problem with it. He was kind enough to ask me if it was cool with me first. I just shrugged him off. Anybody can be a nigga in my books. Even Ethan. He's my boy, my nigga.
After school I went to Cassidy's Rollerdome with Ethan. It was a hot spot the teenagers went to. Roll around in rollerskates and chill with your boys or girls. It was always fun to come here. I rolled up on Ethan drinking a soda.
"Check it," he said and pointed out to the rink. I looked and spotted what he was pointing to. Two niggas were holding hands as they skated. People were shaking their heads in disgust and throwing popcorn at them. "I haven't seen nothing like that here." Ethan's originally from San Fransisco. I shrugged.
"They exist." Ethan looked at me and just nodded his head.
That night Ethan came over to my place to do homework. He didn't live too far.
"Yo, your sister was checking me, since when she started checking me?"
"My sister is 20 years old. She don't care about you," I laughed.
"That's okay, I ain't interested anyway." I shook my head and chuckled. I looked back at my Spanish homework and continued where I left off. It was silent for a good minute until Ethan broke it.
"Can I tell you something, Derek?" I could hear a seriousness in his voice. I looked right at him.
"What's up?" He stared at me with his blue eyes.
"I've only told you this, but, I don't know, I think I might be onto something new." I continued staring at him.
"What you mean?" I asked above a whisper.
"I think I might be...into, ah, guys, I don't know." I still studied him. He was looking at me too. I considered telling him. It wasn't a matter of trust because I knew that I could trust him. If I told him then he could tell me more. He'll probably feel more comfortable.
"Derek, you plan on doing the dishes tonight?" My sister, Eveline, asked from behind the door.
"Y-yeah," I called out. I heard her walk away. Our trance was gone.
"So how's that coming along?" He indicated to my Spanish work.
"Cool."
I guess not too cool because after school I met up with my Spanish teacher to go over my test which I scored a 74 on. And I thought I had it. He was talking to me about preterite and imperfect tenses. I happened to look in the hallway and saw Shan leaning on the lockers waiting for me. When we wrapped our meeting up I went out to him.
"Heyyyy," I said. He smiled.
"Hi. Coming to my place?"
"You don't have practice?" He shook his head. Sex was on the menu, as cliché as that sounds. Shan and I stopped using condoms a while ago and I love the difference. I felt comfortable with Shan because I know that it has only been just us two. His mom is at work, like always, so we decided to do it on the living room floor. I was moaning from the sensation. He was hitting this from behind.
"Shit!" I exhaled breathlessly after I came. I look up to catch Shan's sweaty, naked, body go into the bathroom. I don't want to mess up the carpet any more so I stand up, my legs weak and shaking. I go into the bathroom where Shan is removing his sweat. "You want to take a shower?" I ask him. He shakes his head and hands me the towel he was just using. He kisses me on the forehead and then leaves the bathroom. I stand there staring off into space long after he left.
"She keeps rubbing in my face about this new nigga she got. I honestly don't give a fuck. Am I supposed to feel some type of way? Am I supposed to be jealous of that nigga? No. Fuck outta here," Ethan was going on and I was half hearing him. I was too busy in my thoughts and staring at Shan as he sat across the school yard talking to Enrique. Enrique was a teammate of his and a very close one because I always see them together. "You aiight, Derek?" Ethan asked me. I looked over my shoulder to him and nodded. Ethan looked over to where I was staring at. He didn't say anything, but he looked back at me. "Want to do something this weekend?" I fully turn to him from my sitting position on top of the picnic table.
"What?" He came to sit next to me instead of in front of me. I watched how smoothly he made the transition.
"My dad wants me to come visit him out in Section 3." Ethan's parents were separated so he lived with his mom here and his dad had some big ass house in Section 3. I nodded. "We can just chill out over there for the weekend."
"Sounds like an idea." I glimpsed back at Shan then looked at Ethan. "Okay."
When I told Shan what I was doing this weekend he basically just shrugged it off. I don't want to think that Shan's changing on me but I don't like his attitude. It seems like what ever I do is not important to him or he just doesn't care. He didn't ask too many questions about the trip I was taking with Ethan. If he feels like that then whatever, I'm definitely going with my boy to Section 3.
"Okay, so here's the rules."
"Nigga, shut up," I laughed and Ethan laughed along.
"But for real. It's on rare occasions that I take this baby out."
"Yeah, I know. I could be getting more free rides but you got our asses walking home everyday after school." Ethan cracked up again.
"C'mon Derek."
"Whatever." It was Friday and we got ready to leave once school was out. We sat in Ethan's car that he never drives. I watched him as he checked his mirrors. "It's been a while since you drove my ass anywhere, I can't remember if you're a good driver or not."
"You still here and breathing, right nigga?" I burst out laughing. He wasn't even paying me any mind, just checking his glove department. "Aight, time to go." It's about a 30 minute drive there and it was fun chillin' with Ethan as he drove there. Our conversation smoothed nicely but at one point it got quiet.
"It's starting to get cloudy," Ethan said. It looked like it was about to rain.
"Where are we?" Ethan checked his GPS.
"We right around in Section 2."
"Have you ever been to Section 2?" I asked after a pause. Ethan shrugged.
"Nah. It wasn't until late this year that my dad moved to Section 3 so I haven't been to either." It was really gray and dreary out now.
"My nigga, the clouds just look too angry! I have never seen anything like that. Shit!" I said.
"Yeah, the shit is creepy. They look like they want to burst but the fuckers won't."
"If they did burst that won't be just any rainstorm, nigga. We gonna flood." Ethan chuckled.
"A nigga ain't got time for that." The scenery looked different too. "Nigga, what is the population in this town? Two?" We were the only car at an intersection and it was a red light.
"I don't know, but just get out of this place quick. Shit is not even depressing it's scary as fuck," I shivered. The light turned green and Ethan was putting his foot on the gas pedal when something came out of nowhere and hit the hood. We jumped and screamed. It was a homeless man. He was yelling at us.
"My nigga, get off my hood!" Ethan shouted. The homeless man was just sitting on the hood, yelling and banging his fist. I was frozen in shock. "Muthafucka!" Ethan jumped right out of the car.
"Ethan!" But he was heading to the man and dragging him off the car. I got out and came over but once the old man was off the hood, courtesy of Ethan, he starting swinging on me. I moved back in time. "This man is crazy, Ethan!" I hadn't notice that in the process of getting the man off the hood the man and Ethan were sent to the ground. Ethan was getting up when the man tried to swing at me again. He missed me again but Ethan caught him from behind with a punch. The man stumbled. Ethan kicked him down and threw two more punches and a kick at him.
"Yooooo! Ethan! Ethan!" I tried to pull him away.
"Hey!" A shout came behind us that made us both jump. Oh shit! It was a police officer of all people. "I see what you kids are doing! Stay right there and put your hands up, now!" I can't believe this was happening. I started to put my hands up but Ethan yanked them down.
"Fuck that," he said and pulled my arm and starting running. I didn't question him but just kept up. The officer was screaming after us.
"I can't believe this shit, man!" I yelled.
"Me neither, let's just try to lose him." After 5 minutes of running we lost him through zigzagging up and down the streets. Every street was deserted. We stopped in the middle of a street trying to catch our breathes. It felt like my heart was never going to stop pounding.
"That was a random card, man!" I exhaled. Ethan shook his head and screamed 'Fuck!' As he walked away in frustration. I followed him, but he turned back my way and stood in front of me.
"What the fuck man? Like as if I know how to get back to my car. I don't even know what street that was, fuck! C'mon, son, for real?" Ethan wiped his face. I checked my phone. It was going on 4 in the afternoon. It was getting darker too.
"What we gonna do? I know you don't have the answer but I'm just throwing it out there," I asked. Ethan stared at me, his bright blue eyes glowing.
"It could take forever to find my car. Just let me call my dad and tell him about this fuckery." I gave him some room to do that and went and sat on the curb. Two minutes later it really just starting pouring on us.
"WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!" I heard Ethan scream. I just sat there and let the rain run all over me. This is far from what I expected to happen. This was ridiculous and felt far from real. "This is utter bullshit! Like, what the fuck did we do to deserve this right now?" Ethan's words were getting closer and closer to me. I looked up and he was looking down at me. "For real, son, what the fuck is happening right now?" He had to shout over the rain. I stood up and shivered.
"We need to get out of this rain." We found a porch and just stood on it and was out of the rain, it was no longer raining down on us. The whole house was dark.
"I'm freezing my balls off," Ethan said and knocked on the door. There wasn't an answer for the longest time. When Ethan knocked again the door to the place just opened up. We jumped back but it was empty behind the door and dark inside.
"My, nigga, you must be crazy if you think my light skinned ass is going in there."
"So you want to get pneumonia out here?"
"At this rate we gonna be sick anyways in the morning." Ethan looked at me.
"C'mon, no one's going to hurt you, I'm here, son," Ethan said in a calm and low voice. We walked in and it was creepier in here then it was outside. I tried to adjust my eyes to the dark. I guess Ethan was already there because he said, "So no one lives here but there's furniture in this bitch?"
"People are probably moving in or out." Ethan shrugged.
"Whatever," he said and closed the door.
Two hours had passed. We found some blankets and just laid on the floor for those good two hours. It was pitch black out now.
"I still can't believe this shit," Ethan said.
"And it's still fucking raining out." That puzzled the hell out of me. Not once had that rain let up.
"I seriously feel like we are on another planet." That got me laughing. "I'm serious." I laughed harder. "You think this funny?" I continued laughing. Ethan elbowed my side. I laughed more. I eventually heard him chuckle. "The shit's not funny, though, for real." I looked over at Ethan who was laid on his back looking up at the ceiling, from what I could make out.
"You warm?" I asked him.
"Yeah, you?" I moved a little bit closer to him.
"Almost." I could feel him now looking at me. I felt movement coming from him. I tried to find him in the dark but something bumped me in the face.
"Ouch, son," he said.
"I can say the same. Was that your nose?"
"Yeah, I think it hit yours. I was trying to kiss you." I was shocked at how casually that came out of his mouth. "I'm sorry though, but I figured that you might be....since you always on Shan..."
"It's all good," I said and turned on the bright white light on my phone. I could see much clearly.
"Much better," he said and we both pushed our lips toward each other. I was rock hard despite the cold. We garnered heat around our hot mouths and our cold hands groped each others cold bodies. Then a thought came to me.
"Why didn't we ask for your dad to drive here and get us?"
"Nigga, it's too late for all that." He was on my mouth again. I didn't care too much about that either. I was too excited with what was happening now. Ethan was leaning down over me and we still kissed and groped. I wondered if this was going to go any further. Eventually we pulled apart and just stared at each other breathing hard. "I do like this," he said and smiled. I chuckled back. He slowly came back down to me and I met him with another kiss. A shattering sound caused me to jolt. Ethan was looking around confused.
"Did you hear that?" I asked. He looked down at me and nodded. "I think we should really get out of here. Call your dad." He nodded.
"But I don't know what directions to give him." We stood up and went to the door to see what the street name was. But the door wasn't budging.
"What the hell?" I questioned. Ethan came over behind me and tried the door.
"Nope, this ain't happening," he said and walked off somewhere.
"Ethan! Where did you go?"
"Watch out," he said and pulled me aside. He had a chair and aimed it at the living room window. When the window didn't break I tried to open it to see if that worked, but they were frozen shut. Ethan tried until the window did break. We climbed out, without any scratches, and it was no longer raining. It was night out and the streets were dark. "I can't wait to get out of here and take a shower," Ethan sighed. I heard a shrieking laugh and looked back at the house. I swear it came from there. I looked at Ethan to see if he heard the same thing. He was looking right at the house. I shivered and quickly got off the porch. Ethan was faster, he grabbed me and pulled me along with him. The streets were still empty and eerie. We walked down the sidewalk. A ways away I saw a dark figure coming our way.
"You see that?" I whispered to Ethan. He nodded.
"This shit is starting to get ridiculous." The figure kept walking to us. I could tell it was a girl from the hips. She had on all black and a black hoody that hid her face. My heart started beating faster and faster. But we just passed each other. The girl kept on walking. When I looked behind us to see her, nobody was there at all. She just vanished. Ethan peeped this too. He looked at me. "We getting up outta here, son."
We stood on a corner but Ethan was still getting bad reception.
"This is pure fuckery to the max." I looked all around us not trusting any of these streets. I checked to see if my GPS was working on my phone.
"Oh thank God," I exhaled so hard.
"What?" Ethan asked.
"My GPS is working." Ethan started chuckling.
"My nigga." He hugged me and kept his arm around me. "I think we should just head back home."
"It doesn't matter, we're 15 minutes away from Section 1 and 3."
"I wanna go home though."
"Yeah, me too," I exhaled. I figured out the directions on my GPS and was going to work at it, but I started to become aware at how silent Ethan was.
"My nigga, it is not Halloween yet." I heard him say.
"Why you say that?" I look at him and he was staring straight ahead with a look in his eye that I couldn't read. I followed his eyeline. Hell to the no. There, across the street from us, was a group of kids around the ages of 7-11 with Halloween costumes on. They had candy baskets in their hands and were skipping and laughing amongst each other. I was beyond scared at this point. Ethan and I was paralyzed. But then suddenly the children all turned in our direction and pointed at us with an eerie stillness. And then they vanished from our eyes. We both screamed at the same time and jetted off running down one of the streets. I ran for my life, Ethan right besides me.
"We need to get back to Section 1!" Ethan screamed.
"I know this!" I screamed back.
We found a fence on someone's lawn and hid behind it, away from the street. We sat in the wet grass, not giving a damn at this point.
"The GPS is saying that we're 10 minutes away from home."
"My nigga, that sounds too good to be true. Do you know what direction we need to go in?"
"I'm checking."
"I'll never be the same after this," Ethan said. He had his head back against the fence looking up at the sky and I was looking at him.
"What are you doing on my lawn?" An unfamiliar voice asked and we both jumped up. It was a little girl. We stared at her, terrified of her. The left side of her face was butchered and covered with blood. There was some blood matted into her blonde hair and she looked to be about 8 years old. I held on to Ethan and we slowly backed away from the girl. "You can stay if you want, my daddy likes guests." We looked up to the porch behind her and on the porch we made out a huge figure with what looked to be an axe in his hands. I shivered again. "You can stay."
"We don't want to you little bitch!" Ethan cried. I grabbed him and jetted off. Once again we ran down a deserted street. We ran for the longest time, flying by house after house after empty house. Did anybody reside here? I tried to check my GPS but it was hard to make out anything with my bouncing steps.
"We need to stop so I can check this."
"Hurry up Derek, this place is getting weirder and weirder. Derek?" I could hear the panic in his voice.
"Yeah?"
"These people aren't real are they?" I look at him but quickly went back to my task.
"We're 4 minutes away from Section 1." We both looked at each other in disbelief. I checked the time. It was 8:48 at night. I looked down the street we were currently heading down. Ethan followed my eyes. "That's home," I said. We both ran for it.
We noticed the difference right away. The streets started to get a little less creepy and the graffiti on the walls of buildings greeted us. We laughed in disbelief, but kept going 'til we made it to my house. Ethan hugged me so tight.
"I can't believe that shit really happened. Was that a dream Derek?"
"Let's just forget it and never go back." Ethan looked at me.
"I'm down with that," he said and we kissed right on my porch. I actually did expect that this was a dream. That I wasn't back at home. But when I pulled away and looked around I was still home and Ethan was smiling at me.
"We're good. Section 2 stays in Section 2." I nodded. And kissed Ethan again.
"Derek?" I jumped, still paranoid and frightened, but it was only Shan. Oh shit. Shan was a whole 'nother story. It didn't even fully hit me that he had basically caught me cheating.
"What the fuck?" Ethan whispered under his breath. "I'm so done with this day." I came down off the porch to Shan. He was staring from me to Ethan.
"What the hell, Derek?" He looked at me with pure disbelief.
"Shan, listen. I--" I honestly didn't know where to start. Just a couple minutes ago I was running from a maybe dead girl and now I'm trying to explain my cheating to my boyfriend? Shit like this don't happen ever day. "I honestly don't know where to start or what to tell you. But I've never cheated on you before." Did I really now have to choose between being with Ethan or Shan? This was too much.
"Derek, we been through a lot today, don't even bother," Ethan said as he came over to us.
"Yeah, I guess we'll talk about it later. You two have a good night," Shan said harshly and proceeded on to his house next door. I sighed. Ethan stared at me.
"I'm just glad we're home. We both need to sleep," Ethan said.
"I'm still scared, Ethan. What if--"
"Don't think about it. We're in Section 1 now." I just nodded. That's when I heard gun shots a few streets over. Ethan smirked. "See?" I nodded. It was silent between us. "Want me to stay the night?" I swallowed and nodded. He put his arm around my shoulders and guided me back up to my place. We slept in my warm bed. I had trouble sleeping for the first 2 hours but I was exhausted.
Things were back to the same once I woke up. I started to wonder if what happened in Section 2 was a dream. Now I had to deal with Ethan and Shan. Ethan and I sat up on my bed.
"I don't know what to do when it comes to you and Shan," I started.
"I'm just in the way of you and Shan." I just shook my head without a reply. I was utterly lost. Did I want to be with Ethan or Shan? "Just talk to Shan and tell me how that goes. I'm about to head on home."
"I'm sorry about all this."
"All this is not your fault, Derek. I'll text you," he said and left.
I met up with Shan at a park later on that day. I was sitting on a swing when he came up. He leaned up against the pole.
"Wassup?" He crossed his arms and stared down at me. I still sat on the swing.
"Me and Ethan were always just friends, Shan. We didn't plan to go away so that we could cheat behind your back. It just happened," I sighed. "For a while I started to think that you've changed. You're always quiet around me now and I get the sense that you just don't care. When I told you I was leaving this weekend it was like you barely heard me. I'm glad you're not the possessive type but still I don't get that feeling of you wanting me." I looked up at him. He continued to stare at me for a while. Then he cleared his throat.
"You have a right to feel like that. I didn't even consider your feelings, but I was placed in your shoes last night when I saw you kissing him." I was confused. "I've been seeing someone else." He admitted. I blinked slowly and looked away from him. "Like I said, I now understand the hurt you're going through after hearing me say that. I felt that hurt last night. I deserved that."
"How long?" My voice was hoarse. I cleared my own throat.
"Before the basketball season started. For two months. I was with Bennie at first but I've been with Enrique for a while." I looked at him and was really hurt.
"We been through a lot. I guess it wasn't meant to last. I don't know why I had this thought that it would." Shan sighed. I stood up. I was tired from everything. This was crazy.
"I'm sorry, Derek, if that means anything, but it probably doesn't."
"Yeah." He came closer and hugged me. I bit my lip and didn't hug him back. He backed away. "I'll see you around," I offered. He slowly nodded and then walked away. I watched him until I lost track of him.
I laid in Ethan's bed with him. I've been to his place for over an hour and we just laid there staring at his ceiling.
"I'm sorry, once again, for how that all went down. I don't want to speak all negative about your ex but that was foul of him."
"It's whatever." I could feel him looking at me.
"You never thought anything else would freak you out besides Shan leaving you."
"Yeah. Like, right now it's not even hitting me that Shan and I are really done. Last night, in Section 2, takes the cake."
"It's over Derek, we're never going back there. I'm not even going through there to get to Section 3. My dad gonna have to bring his ass here. Ain't nothing over there for me otherwise."
"I don't understand how people can live over there," I said.
"Sheeiiit, they used to seeing that shit every day, I bet." Ethan turned to his side and faces me, looking down at me. "So what you want to do?"
"Continue sleeping Section 2 out of my head."
"Sounds like a plan." Ethan laid back down and I laid my head on his chest and closed my eyes and shivered.
The sky was dark and fall was ready to come. I waited for Shan in the school parking lot after they had won the game. Shan always played basketball, since middle school. I wasn't into sports too tough, but I always came to his games to watch. As I was waiting all the students were steady coming out of the school. By accident I spotted Tiana and she was still staring at me.
"Your boy did good tonight, Derek." She always said my name. She had two little minions. Some ugly, light skinned chick named Carmen and some other girl named Desma. I'll admit that Desma wasn't half bad, it's just too bad that she follows Tiana around. I just nodded at Tiana. "You too good to speak to me, Derek?" I exhaled and checked out my finger nails. "Whatever to you too." I smoothed my hair down, though I have a faded so there isn't much there. "I'll see you tomorrow in first bell, Derek," she said over her shoulder as she walked away. Yeah, ok, whatever. The girl is weird. Shan came out five minutes later.
"Damn, my nigga, you were in there for about 82 years," was the first thing I say to him. He cracked up laughing and put his arm around my shoulders.
"It be like that sometimes." He started guiding us deeper into the parking lot.
"What the fuck that mean?" He turned to face me. Shan had height on me. I'm like 5' 10", Shan is like 6'.
"What you think? I'm not just going to rush on out when there is dick all around me." He always did this shit. It made me smile and chuckle but sometimes it made me jealous. I pushed and brushed him away. He laughed. He knew what he was doing. "I'm sorry, stop," he laughed and tried to grab me.
"Nah, you done fucked up." I pulled away some more, but he eventually got a hold of me and wrapped his arms around me.
"For real Derek, you know I'm just kidding." I looked up into his eyes then back at the school. Most of the parking lot was cleared. I looked back at him and he was watching me back. He slowly leaned down onto my lips and we kissed. Did I mention that we were together?
I have lived in Section One of Shoreview since I was 2. I was originally born in California. I don't remember any of that because I grew up here. I have known since I was 12 that I liked other boys. I kept thinking that I was into girls, but once I saw my first penis it was a done deal. And it was Shan's penis. He was just spending the night one night at my house and we got to talking about sex. We were twelve and boys were doing it with girls in our town. But Shan just outright said how he didn't want to have sex with girls. He was so sure of himself. He said, at the time, that he thought he didn't like anyone. Asexual. We had learned the term in science class. He told me how his dick didn't get hard at all around girls. That night he just pulled down his pjs and showed me it. The following year he realized that he did like something. Boys. So we both just happened to be gay. We didn't tell anyone else. To this day our parents don't even know. Shan and I didn't get together right away. We didn't even consider it at first. It wasn't until we were sophomores in high school, two years ago, that we started developing an attraction to one another. As Shan got older I became more attracted to him. He told me that he's had a crush on me since freshman year but didn't think too much of it. Now we're seniors and in love with each other.
It just so happens that Shan and I are some of the best looking guys in our class. The females and niggas always asking us where our girls at. We're both like borderline light skinned dudes. We're not pale light skinned but we aren't carmel complexioned. We're in the middle. We both have fades and black hair. My features are actually pretty feminine. I'm that "pretty boy". My sisters used to tell people I was their third sister and the whole 9. My eyes are of the slanted shape and I have a beauty mark above my upper lip on the left side. Shan's features are more stronger. He sometimes looks like he could be a rapper, if that makes any sense. He has a sort of swagger about him. A laid back and fashionable kind of guy. I like it. We are each others first. I never been with another guy and the same goes for him.
Shan was yawning on the drive back home. We still lived next door to each other.
"I'm exhausted," he said. I was laid back in the passenger's seat.
"You played a good game."
"The season just started."
"And it's going to be a good one."
"Going for a record," he says as he switches off the radio. The ride back home isn't a long one but at some point I must have dozed off. Shan was carrying me out of the car when I woke up.
"What happened?" I was a little disoriented.
"You fell asleep, babe." He carried me to the porch then stood me up.
"For real? It don't feel like it."
"It was only for like a minute." He pulled out his keys and opened the door. This has been going on for years. My parents are used to it. If I'm never home at night then I'm next door, nowhere else. I'm surprised that my parents or his mom or dad haven't thought about how close our relationship is. They just think that we're like brothers. We head straight up to his bedroom. His moms goes to sleep early so it's dark in the whole house every night. We both fall onto his bed. I intertwine myself with him. I remember to take off my jacket and sneakers so I get up to do that and get back into bed. Shan leaves it and goes out into the hall to the bathroom. I'm about to drift back to sleep when I feel him get back into bed. His room is so dark. The only light coming in is from outside through the blinds. Shan is kissing my neck.
"I'm so tired," he mumbles into my neck. I chuckle.
"Then go to sleep already."
"But I'm horny as fuck!" He groans. I laugh.
"That is a problem." In our relationship Shan has played the "top" part and me the "bottom". We never switch it up. I recall the first time we had sex. We really rushed into it. We figured that we've known each other for so long and were still virgins, why not? We were fifteen. Actually, Shan had just turned sixteen three weeks prior. We came to his place after school because his mom was at work and just did it. I saw Shan differently after that, I mean he's always been my friend and now he was physically inside of me, having sex with me. It changed me. I cared for him more. He looked at me now. I kissed him tenderly.
"I don't have the energy, babe." He smiled. He had dimples too!
"I do," I said and I got on top of him. The shit ended up being wild, as it usually is and he put a lot more energy into it as we builded up.
I've never cheated on Shan. Didn't have to, didn't need to, didn't want to. The sex between us wasn't getting old at all either. I never changed and he hasn't changed since we've been together. But ever since basketball season has started early this year in our district areas I have become more jealous, which is new to me. Shan's really close with his teammates and I'm sure they're all friends, but when I see him standing too close to a teammate I automatically start assuming shit. My other friend besides Shan is Ethan. He's this white boy who I've known for a year. He doesn't know that I'm gay. I'm passed being over the realization that I'm gay that I forget that I haven't told anyone. And I haven't slipped and told anyone either. But Ethan is mad cool, and we have, like, almost every class together. Our school is mostly black and Latino so I just took him under my wings when he became new here. He's taller than me, 5' 11". He has brown hair that he keeps in a fade as well. When I first met him I thought he was mixed with something else because his features didn't look all white. He told me that his dad is white and his mom is Italian. That explained it. My guilty mind also finds Ethan attractive, but I see that he goes for the girls even though he's only had one girlfriend and he broke up with her. He doesn't talk about girls a lot. I even wondered if he was gay but probably not. Ethan also dressed in his own way, some would think more on the "black" side, since he's always wearing Timberlands, a fresh pair of sneakers or his fitted cap. He's my friend and he doesn't try to act or talk black though. Ethan is just Ethan.
I ate with him at lunch. Shan is in my lunch mod but for some reason we don't eat together. He eats with his teammates.
"Tiana was asking about you again," Ethan said. I rolled my eyes.
"Fuck! Can't she just leave me alone?"
"Nah. But she was just asking me if you was feeling her now because she said at the game last night you kept staring at her." I outright laugh.
"That's the dumbest shit ever. I was catching her looking at me, not the other way around. She's twisted in the head."
"Who you telling. She steady having mad niggas fucking her."
"Nasty." I was okay with Ethan saying 'nigga'. I just didn't see a problem with it. He was kind enough to ask me if it was cool with me first. I just shrugged him off. Anybody can be a nigga in my books. Even Ethan. He's my boy, my nigga.
After school I went to Cassidy's Rollerdome with Ethan. It was a hot spot the teenagers went to. Roll around in rollerskates and chill with your boys or girls. It was always fun to come here. I rolled up on Ethan drinking a soda.
"Check it," he said and pointed out to the rink. I looked and spotted what he was pointing to. Two niggas were holding hands as they skated. People were shaking their heads in disgust and throwing popcorn at them. "I haven't seen nothing like that here." Ethan's originally from San Fransisco. I shrugged.
"They exist." Ethan looked at me and just nodded his head.
That night Ethan came over to my place to do homework. He didn't live too far.
"Yo, your sister was checking me, since when she started checking me?"
"My sister is 20 years old. She don't care about you," I laughed.
"That's okay, I ain't interested anyway." I shook my head and chuckled. I looked back at my Spanish homework and continued where I left off. It was silent for a good minute until Ethan broke it.
"Can I tell you something, Derek?" I could hear a seriousness in his voice. I looked right at him.
"What's up?" He stared at me with his blue eyes.
"I've only told you this, but, I don't know, I think I might be onto something new." I continued staring at him.
"What you mean?" I asked above a whisper.
"I think I might be...into, ah, guys, I don't know." I still studied him. He was looking at me too. I considered telling him. It wasn't a matter of trust because I knew that I could trust him. If I told him then he could tell me more. He'll probably feel more comfortable.
"Derek, you plan on doing the dishes tonight?" My sister, Eveline, asked from behind the door.
"Y-yeah," I called out. I heard her walk away. Our trance was gone.
"So how's that coming along?" He indicated to my Spanish work.
"Cool."
I guess not too cool because after school I met up with my Spanish teacher to go over my test which I scored a 74 on. And I thought I had it. He was talking to me about preterite and imperfect tenses. I happened to look in the hallway and saw Shan leaning on the lockers waiting for me. When we wrapped our meeting up I went out to him.
"Heyyyy," I said. He smiled.
"Hi. Coming to my place?"
"You don't have practice?" He shook his head. Sex was on the menu, as cliché as that sounds. Shan and I stopped using condoms a while ago and I love the difference. I felt comfortable with Shan because I know that it has only been just us two. His mom is at work, like always, so we decided to do it on the living room floor. I was moaning from the sensation. He was hitting this from behind.
"Shit!" I exhaled breathlessly after I came. I look up to catch Shan's sweaty, naked, body go into the bathroom. I don't want to mess up the carpet any more so I stand up, my legs weak and shaking. I go into the bathroom where Shan is removing his sweat. "You want to take a shower?" I ask him. He shakes his head and hands me the towel he was just using. He kisses me on the forehead and then leaves the bathroom. I stand there staring off into space long after he left.
"She keeps rubbing in my face about this new nigga she got. I honestly don't give a fuck. Am I supposed to feel some type of way? Am I supposed to be jealous of that nigga? No. Fuck outta here," Ethan was going on and I was half hearing him. I was too busy in my thoughts and staring at Shan as he sat across the school yard talking to Enrique. Enrique was a teammate of his and a very close one because I always see them together. "You aiight, Derek?" Ethan asked me. I looked over my shoulder to him and nodded. Ethan looked over to where I was staring at. He didn't say anything, but he looked back at me. "Want to do something this weekend?" I fully turn to him from my sitting position on top of the picnic table.
"What?" He came to sit next to me instead of in front of me. I watched how smoothly he made the transition.
"My dad wants me to come visit him out in Section 3." Ethan's parents were separated so he lived with his mom here and his dad had some big ass house in Section 3. I nodded. "We can just chill out over there for the weekend."
"Sounds like an idea." I glimpsed back at Shan then looked at Ethan. "Okay."
When I told Shan what I was doing this weekend he basically just shrugged it off. I don't want to think that Shan's changing on me but I don't like his attitude. It seems like what ever I do is not important to him or he just doesn't care. He didn't ask too many questions about the trip I was taking with Ethan. If he feels like that then whatever, I'm definitely going with my boy to Section 3.
"Okay, so here's the rules."
"Nigga, shut up," I laughed and Ethan laughed along.
"But for real. It's on rare occasions that I take this baby out."
"Yeah, I know. I could be getting more free rides but you got our asses walking home everyday after school." Ethan cracked up again.
"C'mon Derek."
"Whatever." It was Friday and we got ready to leave once school was out. We sat in Ethan's car that he never drives. I watched him as he checked his mirrors. "It's been a while since you drove my ass anywhere, I can't remember if you're a good driver or not."
"You still here and breathing, right nigga?" I burst out laughing. He wasn't even paying me any mind, just checking his glove department. "Aight, time to go." It's about a 30 minute drive there and it was fun chillin' with Ethan as he drove there. Our conversation smoothed nicely but at one point it got quiet.
"It's starting to get cloudy," Ethan said. It looked like it was about to rain.
"Where are we?" Ethan checked his GPS.
"We right around in Section 2."
"Have you ever been to Section 2?" I asked after a pause. Ethan shrugged.
"Nah. It wasn't until late this year that my dad moved to Section 3 so I haven't been to either." It was really gray and dreary out now.
"My nigga, the clouds just look too angry! I have never seen anything like that. Shit!" I said.
"Yeah, the shit is creepy. They look like they want to burst but the fuckers won't."
"If they did burst that won't be just any rainstorm, nigga. We gonna flood." Ethan chuckled.
"A nigga ain't got time for that." The scenery looked different too. "Nigga, what is the population in this town? Two?" We were the only car at an intersection and it was a red light.
"I don't know, but just get out of this place quick. Shit is not even depressing it's scary as fuck," I shivered. The light turned green and Ethan was putting his foot on the gas pedal when something came out of nowhere and hit the hood. We jumped and screamed. It was a homeless man. He was yelling at us.
"My nigga, get off my hood!" Ethan shouted. The homeless man was just sitting on the hood, yelling and banging his fist. I was frozen in shock. "Muthafucka!" Ethan jumped right out of the car.
"Ethan!" But he was heading to the man and dragging him off the car. I got out and came over but once the old man was off the hood, courtesy of Ethan, he starting swinging on me. I moved back in time. "This man is crazy, Ethan!" I hadn't notice that in the process of getting the man off the hood the man and Ethan were sent to the ground. Ethan was getting up when the man tried to swing at me again. He missed me again but Ethan caught him from behind with a punch. The man stumbled. Ethan kicked him down and threw two more punches and a kick at him.
"Yooooo! Ethan! Ethan!" I tried to pull him away.
"Hey!" A shout came behind us that made us both jump. Oh shit! It was a police officer of all people. "I see what you kids are doing! Stay right there and put your hands up, now!" I can't believe this was happening. I started to put my hands up but Ethan yanked them down.
"Fuck that," he said and pulled my arm and starting running. I didn't question him but just kept up. The officer was screaming after us.
"I can't believe this shit, man!" I yelled.
"Me neither, let's just try to lose him." After 5 minutes of running we lost him through zigzagging up and down the streets. Every street was deserted. We stopped in the middle of a street trying to catch our breathes. It felt like my heart was never going to stop pounding.
"That was a random card, man!" I exhaled. Ethan shook his head and screamed 'Fuck!' As he walked away in frustration. I followed him, but he turned back my way and stood in front of me.
"What the fuck man? Like as if I know how to get back to my car. I don't even know what street that was, fuck! C'mon, son, for real?" Ethan wiped his face. I checked my phone. It was going on 4 in the afternoon. It was getting darker too.
"What we gonna do? I know you don't have the answer but I'm just throwing it out there," I asked. Ethan stared at me, his bright blue eyes glowing.
"It could take forever to find my car. Just let me call my dad and tell him about this fuckery." I gave him some room to do that and went and sat on the curb. Two minutes later it really just starting pouring on us.
"WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!" I heard Ethan scream. I just sat there and let the rain run all over me. This is far from what I expected to happen. This was ridiculous and felt far from real. "This is utter bullshit! Like, what the fuck did we do to deserve this right now?" Ethan's words were getting closer and closer to me. I looked up and he was looking down at me. "For real, son, what the fuck is happening right now?" He had to shout over the rain. I stood up and shivered.
"We need to get out of this rain." We found a porch and just stood on it and was out of the rain, it was no longer raining down on us. The whole house was dark.
"I'm freezing my balls off," Ethan said and knocked on the door. There wasn't an answer for the longest time. When Ethan knocked again the door to the place just opened up. We jumped back but it was empty behind the door and dark inside.
"My, nigga, you must be crazy if you think my light skinned ass is going in there."
"So you want to get pneumonia out here?"
"At this rate we gonna be sick anyways in the morning." Ethan looked at me.
"C'mon, no one's going to hurt you, I'm here, son," Ethan said in a calm and low voice. We walked in and it was creepier in here then it was outside. I tried to adjust my eyes to the dark. I guess Ethan was already there because he said, "So no one lives here but there's furniture in this bitch?"
"People are probably moving in or out." Ethan shrugged.
"Whatever," he said and closed the door.
Two hours had passed. We found some blankets and just laid on the floor for those good two hours. It was pitch black out now.
"I still can't believe this shit," Ethan said.
"And it's still fucking raining out." That puzzled the hell out of me. Not once had that rain let up.
"I seriously feel like we are on another planet." That got me laughing. "I'm serious." I laughed harder. "You think this funny?" I continued laughing. Ethan elbowed my side. I laughed more. I eventually heard him chuckle. "The shit's not funny, though, for real." I looked over at Ethan who was laid on his back looking up at the ceiling, from what I could make out.
"You warm?" I asked him.
"Yeah, you?" I moved a little bit closer to him.
"Almost." I could feel him now looking at me. I felt movement coming from him. I tried to find him in the dark but something bumped me in the face.
"Ouch, son," he said.
"I can say the same. Was that your nose?"
"Yeah, I think it hit yours. I was trying to kiss you." I was shocked at how casually that came out of his mouth. "I'm sorry though, but I figured that you might be....since you always on Shan..."
"It's all good," I said and turned on the bright white light on my phone. I could see much clearly.
"Much better," he said and we both pushed our lips toward each other. I was rock hard despite the cold. We garnered heat around our hot mouths and our cold hands groped each others cold bodies. Then a thought came to me.
"Why didn't we ask for your dad to drive here and get us?"
"Nigga, it's too late for all that." He was on my mouth again. I didn't care too much about that either. I was too excited with what was happening now. Ethan was leaning down over me and we still kissed and groped. I wondered if this was going to go any further. Eventually we pulled apart and just stared at each other breathing hard. "I do like this," he said and smiled. I chuckled back. He slowly came back down to me and I met him with another kiss. A shattering sound caused me to jolt. Ethan was looking around confused.
"Did you hear that?" I asked. He looked down at me and nodded. "I think we should really get out of here. Call your dad." He nodded.
"But I don't know what directions to give him." We stood up and went to the door to see what the street name was. But the door wasn't budging.
"What the hell?" I questioned. Ethan came over behind me and tried the door.
"Nope, this ain't happening," he said and walked off somewhere.
"Ethan! Where did you go?"
"Watch out," he said and pulled me aside. He had a chair and aimed it at the living room window. When the window didn't break I tried to open it to see if that worked, but they were frozen shut. Ethan tried until the window did break. We climbed out, without any scratches, and it was no longer raining. It was night out and the streets were dark. "I can't wait to get out of here and take a shower," Ethan sighed. I heard a shrieking laugh and looked back at the house. I swear it came from there. I looked at Ethan to see if he heard the same thing. He was looking right at the house. I shivered and quickly got off the porch. Ethan was faster, he grabbed me and pulled me along with him. The streets were still empty and eerie. We walked down the sidewalk. A ways away I saw a dark figure coming our way.
"You see that?" I whispered to Ethan. He nodded.
"This shit is starting to get ridiculous." The figure kept walking to us. I could tell it was a girl from the hips. She had on all black and a black hoody that hid her face. My heart started beating faster and faster. But we just passed each other. The girl kept on walking. When I looked behind us to see her, nobody was there at all. She just vanished. Ethan peeped this too. He looked at me. "We getting up outta here, son."
We stood on a corner but Ethan was still getting bad reception.
"This is pure fuckery to the max." I looked all around us not trusting any of these streets. I checked to see if my GPS was working on my phone.
"Oh thank God," I exhaled so hard.
"What?" Ethan asked.
"My GPS is working." Ethan started chuckling.
"My nigga." He hugged me and kept his arm around me. "I think we should just head back home."
"It doesn't matter, we're 15 minutes away from Section 1 and 3."
"I wanna go home though."
"Yeah, me too," I exhaled. I figured out the directions on my GPS and was going to work at it, but I started to become aware at how silent Ethan was.
"My nigga, it is not Halloween yet." I heard him say.
"Why you say that?" I look at him and he was staring straight ahead with a look in his eye that I couldn't read. I followed his eyeline. Hell to the no. There, across the street from us, was a group of kids around the ages of 7-11 with Halloween costumes on. They had candy baskets in their hands and were skipping and laughing amongst each other. I was beyond scared at this point. Ethan and I was paralyzed. But then suddenly the children all turned in our direction and pointed at us with an eerie stillness. And then they vanished from our eyes. We both screamed at the same time and jetted off running down one of the streets. I ran for my life, Ethan right besides me.
"We need to get back to Section 1!" Ethan screamed.
"I know this!" I screamed back.
We found a fence on someone's lawn and hid behind it, away from the street. We sat in the wet grass, not giving a damn at this point.
"The GPS is saying that we're 10 minutes away from home."
"My nigga, that sounds too good to be true. Do you know what direction we need to go in?"
"I'm checking."
"I'll never be the same after this," Ethan said. He had his head back against the fence looking up at the sky and I was looking at him.
"What are you doing on my lawn?" An unfamiliar voice asked and we both jumped up. It was a little girl. We stared at her, terrified of her. The left side of her face was butchered and covered with blood. There was some blood matted into her blonde hair and she looked to be about 8 years old. I held on to Ethan and we slowly backed away from the girl. "You can stay if you want, my daddy likes guests." We looked up to the porch behind her and on the porch we made out a huge figure with what looked to be an axe in his hands. I shivered again. "You can stay."
"We don't want to you little bitch!" Ethan cried. I grabbed him and jetted off. Once again we ran down a deserted street. We ran for the longest time, flying by house after house after empty house. Did anybody reside here? I tried to check my GPS but it was hard to make out anything with my bouncing steps.
"We need to stop so I can check this."
"Hurry up Derek, this place is getting weirder and weirder. Derek?" I could hear the panic in his voice.
"Yeah?"
"These people aren't real are they?" I look at him but quickly went back to my task.
"We're 4 minutes away from Section 1." We both looked at each other in disbelief. I checked the time. It was 8:48 at night. I looked down the street we were currently heading down. Ethan followed my eyes. "That's home," I said. We both ran for it.
We noticed the difference right away. The streets started to get a little less creepy and the graffiti on the walls of buildings greeted us. We laughed in disbelief, but kept going 'til we made it to my house. Ethan hugged me so tight.
"I can't believe that shit really happened. Was that a dream Derek?"
"Let's just forget it and never go back." Ethan looked at me.
"I'm down with that," he said and we kissed right on my porch. I actually did expect that this was a dream. That I wasn't back at home. But when I pulled away and looked around I was still home and Ethan was smiling at me.
"We're good. Section 2 stays in Section 2." I nodded. And kissed Ethan again.
"Derek?" I jumped, still paranoid and frightened, but it was only Shan. Oh shit. Shan was a whole 'nother story. It didn't even fully hit me that he had basically caught me cheating.
"What the fuck?" Ethan whispered under his breath. "I'm so done with this day." I came down off the porch to Shan. He was staring from me to Ethan.
"What the hell, Derek?" He looked at me with pure disbelief.
"Shan, listen. I--" I honestly didn't know where to start. Just a couple minutes ago I was running from a maybe dead girl and now I'm trying to explain my cheating to my boyfriend? Shit like this don't happen ever day. "I honestly don't know where to start or what to tell you. But I've never cheated on you before." Did I really now have to choose between being with Ethan or Shan? This was too much.
"Derek, we been through a lot today, don't even bother," Ethan said as he came over to us.
"Yeah, I guess we'll talk about it later. You two have a good night," Shan said harshly and proceeded on to his house next door. I sighed. Ethan stared at me.
"I'm just glad we're home. We both need to sleep," Ethan said.
"I'm still scared, Ethan. What if--"
"Don't think about it. We're in Section 1 now." I just nodded. That's when I heard gun shots a few streets over. Ethan smirked. "See?" I nodded. It was silent between us. "Want me to stay the night?" I swallowed and nodded. He put his arm around my shoulders and guided me back up to my place. We slept in my warm bed. I had trouble sleeping for the first 2 hours but I was exhausted.
Things were back to the same once I woke up. I started to wonder if what happened in Section 2 was a dream. Now I had to deal with Ethan and Shan. Ethan and I sat up on my bed.
"I don't know what to do when it comes to you and Shan," I started.
"I'm just in the way of you and Shan." I just shook my head without a reply. I was utterly lost. Did I want to be with Ethan or Shan? "Just talk to Shan and tell me how that goes. I'm about to head on home."
"I'm sorry about all this."
"All this is not your fault, Derek. I'll text you," he said and left.
I met up with Shan at a park later on that day. I was sitting on a swing when he came up. He leaned up against the pole.
"Wassup?" He crossed his arms and stared down at me. I still sat on the swing.
"Me and Ethan were always just friends, Shan. We didn't plan to go away so that we could cheat behind your back. It just happened," I sighed. "For a while I started to think that you've changed. You're always quiet around me now and I get the sense that you just don't care. When I told you I was leaving this weekend it was like you barely heard me. I'm glad you're not the possessive type but still I don't get that feeling of you wanting me." I looked up at him. He continued to stare at me for a while. Then he cleared his throat.
"You have a right to feel like that. I didn't even consider your feelings, but I was placed in your shoes last night when I saw you kissing him." I was confused. "I've been seeing someone else." He admitted. I blinked slowly and looked away from him. "Like I said, I now understand the hurt you're going through after hearing me say that. I felt that hurt last night. I deserved that."
"How long?" My voice was hoarse. I cleared my own throat.
"Before the basketball season started. For two months. I was with Bennie at first but I've been with Enrique for a while." I looked at him and was really hurt.
"We been through a lot. I guess it wasn't meant to last. I don't know why I had this thought that it would." Shan sighed. I stood up. I was tired from everything. This was crazy.
"I'm sorry, Derek, if that means anything, but it probably doesn't."
"Yeah." He came closer and hugged me. I bit my lip and didn't hug him back. He backed away. "I'll see you around," I offered. He slowly nodded and then walked away. I watched him until I lost track of him.
I laid in Ethan's bed with him. I've been to his place for over an hour and we just laid there staring at his ceiling.
"I'm sorry, once again, for how that all went down. I don't want to speak all negative about your ex but that was foul of him."
"It's whatever." I could feel him looking at me.
"You never thought anything else would freak you out besides Shan leaving you."
"Yeah. Like, right now it's not even hitting me that Shan and I are really done. Last night, in Section 2, takes the cake."
"It's over Derek, we're never going back there. I'm not even going through there to get to Section 3. My dad gonna have to bring his ass here. Ain't nothing over there for me otherwise."
"I don't understand how people can live over there," I said.
"Sheeiiit, they used to seeing that shit every day, I bet." Ethan turned to his side and faces me, looking down at me. "So what you want to do?"
"Continue sleeping Section 2 out of my head."
"Sounds like a plan." Ethan laid back down and I laid my head on his chest and closed my eyes and shivered.
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